Goodness me! I had no idea Eddie’s Eye would bring such an enthusiastic response! Well, public demand must be met and believe me I’ve rushed out episode 2 at breakneck speed, though fortunately the material fell right into my hands at last night’s T&CA rehearsal.
It started when I saw Usborne coming out of the bank carrying a bulging Waitrose plastic bag. The actor was in pretty good disguise, but I could easily tell it was Usborne under the Lone Ranger mask from his baby fringe and the used tenners fluttering freely across the floor, his cut of some poor bugger’s Jobseekers Allowance, no doubt. Nor did that innocent bag deceive me – he might just as well have used the red attaché case he usually carries his loot in. He owned up in the end.
Anyway, in the tea break, once he’d explained to me about stacking away the cash in a tax efficient account, he started banging on about High Speed Rail. Unbelievable! He wants an HS3 to link Northern cities – as if we haven’t had enough bombardment before the first sleeper has even been laid for HS2! Crazy election gimmick if you ask me, wooing Northern voters with a giant train set of their own. And something of a surprise, considering his views on that neck of the woods.
I mean, while he’s at it why not go the whole hog and plan HS4, 5, 6 and 7. I know – let’s have HS8 linking smaller towns, starting say at Minehead, tracking through Shepton Mallet and Melton Mowbray and terminating at Skegness. Bring these places into the modern world, eh? Improve the trading flow for Butlins. Shouldn’t cost more than about 500 billion, plus say a hundred bill annual subsidy. A steal. And Mr Wildbore at Number 2 would love it!
Think I’ll mention it to Usborne at Sunday rehearsal – though not if he’s in one of these silly moods.
Back soon. Lines to learn.
Terms and Conditions Apply – a play by Paul Costello. Fabulous political satire about a 5-year coalition government, seen through the eyes of ordinary, suburban households and, in stark contrast, the rose-tinted spectacles of politicians. Director, Bob Maynard. 31st July – 2nd August Ledbury Market Theatre