Hello Eddie fans – across the world!
It’s a lark, this politics! We can make all sorts of unqualified, glossy pledges to get votes, and only after we’ve settled into our cosy Westminster offices tell voters that the ‘free Health from cradle to grave’ we promised will actually only apply to those living in street names beginning with Z. Hence the title Terms and Conditions Apply – for us they don’t!
As well as being a famous gurner (facebook pic), the Director Bob Maynard is an experienced comedy actor/director, and is transforming a great script into a piece of comedic brilliance. With political satire rarely tackled in amateur dramatics it feels so-o fresh and exciting, though why I’ve chosen to take part in something where I lampoon myself so relentlessly, I’m not quite sure.
Anyway, I must tell you about Nick Clogg at rehearsals. I bumped into him in Acacia Avenue, waiting nervously outside Number 3 – that’s next door to Mr Wildbore (who I’ll tell you about some other time). At first I was cross because Acacia Avenue is my canvassing patch on Sundays; clearly he’s out of touch with Parliamentary etiquette having had to venture out on his own for the first time in ages. But the laugh was on me. I watched from a distance as, time after time, Clogg flexed his knuckles and made to knock on the door, only to pull away at the last minute – like a snooker player who gets down for a shot but after a few tentative prods decides to stand up and chalk the cue again.
This seemed so unlike someone with such a, you know, ‘fortunate’ education; I’d been led to believe they were made of sterner stuff. But feeling a bit sorry for him, I ran through the knocking process until he was confident enough to make contact with the door by himself and, at his suggestion, I explained to the lady inside (Penny) that Clogg was in training.
‘They have to start somewhere,’ she pointed out astutely, happy to let him ply his apprenticeship on her. I left them to it.
I was pleased with this pic of the actor playing Clogg; Bob has obviously drilled into him exactly how a failed door knocker would portray utter despair.
Only four weeks to go! Senior Cabinet members in the front row on the Saturday, I hear …
Terms and Conditions Apply – a play by Paul Costello. Fabulous political satire about a 5-year coalition government, seen through the eyes of ordinary, suburban households and, in stark contrast, the rose-tinted spectacles of politicians. Director, Bob Maynard. 31st July – 2nd August Ledbury Market Theatre